Christ My Song - 155
Ah, Lord! why am I thus? - Reflection and return
(Carl Johann Philipp Spitta/Richard Massie/
Johannes Thomas Rüegg)
Reflection and return.
1. Ah, Lord! why am I thus?
Why this unwonted coldness,
that I no more can pray
as once with childlike boldness?
'Tis true I still appear
before thee as of old,
but how constrained my prayer!
My heart, how dead and cold! PDF - Midi
2. Wherein have I transgressed,
that I am so affrighted,
and shun the voice wherein
I once so much delighted?
Ah! raise me up again,
and show me what has brought
my soul to this sad state,
and such estrangement wrought.
3. I blame myself; yea, am
with grief and shame o'ertaken,
that I my first love have
so speedily forsaken;
that I have failed to keep,
and watch, with jealous care,
the flame within my breast
thy grace first kindled there.
4. I have not watched and prayed,
my heart with care was cumbered;
and so I fell away,
grew lukewarm, slept, and slumbered.
Through good and ill report
to thee I have not cleaved,
by disobedience oft
the Holy Spirit grieved.
5. For this it is that thou
thy face from me art hiding,
and causest me to taste
the fruit of my backsliding;
for this I cannot do
my work with joy, nor rest,
as I was wont to do,
upon thy loving breast.
6. I have deserved that thou
not only shouldst neglect me,
but from thy sight henceforth
for evermore reject me.
But no; that were indeed
the death of my poor soul;
then, raise me up again,
restore and make me whole.
7. Light of my life, in whom
alone my spirit liveth,
whose mercy hath no end,
who all my sin forgiveth,
incline thine ear to me,
extend thy wonted grace,
and let me once more see
thy mercy-beaming face.
Richard Massie, Lyra Domestica II, 1864, 57-59.
Translated from the German Ach Herr, was ist geschehn - Einkehr und Rückkehr
of Carl Johann Philipp Spitta.